Challenge Me? Adver-sucking and Ken Park

First let me respond to the challenge below.

I've been challeneged to drink 5 Poland Spring bottles of water and not go to the bathroom for 3 hours. I think I can do it.

To clarify the ground rules of this challege (which was initiated by random co-workers who, inspired by stinkfactor.com decided Jeff was the guinea pig of the office) here were minute details that were discussed over several cups of coffee.

1.) the 5 bottles of Poland Spring Water must be consumed in succession in a 15 minute time frame.
2.) food is allowed to be eaten with the drinking of the water
3.) 3 hours will start after the last bottle of water is empty.

Grant it I might pee in my pants, definitely a possibility. Extra pants will be brought as only a precaution. A certain someone did indicate my bladder might fail and i would miserbaly lose this noteworthy challenge. I can only utilize my mind over bladder Spock like meditiation techniques to win. Aw screw it...I'm doing it for the money and the glorious title of Non-Urination King! It's like winning Fear Factor but w/o the fame, glory and the chance to eat some nasty shit.

I work in advertising. Please kill me.
When I grow up I want to be a Yes Man, a Yes Woman, an advertising account executive???

TANGENT ALERT!!!

I mentioned in an earlier blog to be on the lookout for a flick that shocked the begeezus out of film goers in Venice called Ken Park, the latest from Larry Clark (y'know the guy who made Kids and Bully?)

Well it comes out this month and again it's filled with some fucked up shit involving drugs, sex and violence.
You either love or hate Clark's films but there is no doubt he is as controversial as you can get.
Ken Park is about a Filipina girl named Peaches played by Tiffany Limos (Clark's real life girlfriend) and her escapades throughout the little corner Visalia, CA. This little place out west is home to a large Filipino and Mexican community. Gadzooks! The Phil-Am Lions club isn't going to like this. Just when we Filipinos were building our reputation as a culture full of hard workers....oh fuck it. It's just a freakin movie by the movie insane asylum's best inmate Larry fuckin Clark.

This is going to be one hell of a crazy flick.

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Where the hell is Batman???

In my blog yesterday i mentioned Dark Angel Syndrome. I am so infected. I just watched Birds of Prey. In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves..."whoa". Man that show sucked major ass. Hot good looking women + Batman comic legacy + WB clever dialogue = Kick ass new show? Not bloody likely. The Oracle? The Huntress? Black Canary? Who named these superheroines? Mr. Furly? Jim Henson? Bad acting, characters who i thought would be demented and fucked up were not...and the evil villain was a Scooby Doo unmasking. Jeez...and where the hell are Batman and the Joker??? Where the fuck is Robin? And Alfred ain't dead?!?

There goes 70 minutes I'll never get back.

I also noticed today everybody in Astoria are parking space hoggers. I mean the comfort zone these cars have is brutal than the Knick's offense. Do you really need half a car length b/w cars? This is NY. We park like sardines. Every inch is worth fighting for. Now my car's ass is sticking out into some dude's driveway. WTF?

leftovers

I refuse to watch ALCS. I'd rather watch ants square dance.

Pre-season basketball started. News Alert! Knicks still suck.

Somebody has gotta snipe the sniper. Nuff said.

We're going to war. Again.

I'm not giving you a free 65 cent cigarette.

Quizno's toasted subs are tasty.

I do 7 jobs and get paid like I work at McD's.

I've been called "a great friend" far too many times by hot girls I want to date.

I think I can gain 10 yards on 10 rushing attempts in an NFL game.

I've been challeneged to drink 5 Poland Spring bottles of water and not go tot he bathroom for 3 hours. I think I can do it.

I don't like the color crimson.

I remember playing Suicide and getting beaned really hard in the ass.

Porn is really repeititive.

There ain't nothing like going home for mom's home cooked meal.

I just watched a documentary on Bouncers. One guy said he has recollections of people he's put in the hospital. I'm recollecting this guy didn't get pass the 3rd grade.

One day I'm going to right in the Kumite and make my father proud.

I remember getting a National Physical Fitness patch.

A cowboy once gave me a bottle of Smirnoff in a St. Louis airport. I drank it on a plane with a hot cowgirl.

Can you go to IHOP and not get pancakes?

Isn't everything I just wrote the very idea of leftover thoughts?

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TV shows you should watch because I'm watching them

you can tell a lot from a person from the type of tv shows a person watches. i myself will watch CSI then swallow a good helping of the Sopranos and then down that with a random viewing of Scrubs. but none of those shows are "do not disturb" tv. you know that show you HAVE to watch because if you miss an episode you're basically lost in terms of story arc and somehow you'll be lost in the next day water cool conversation.

Office Mate #1: "Hey you saw yesterday's episode of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter?"
Office Mate #2: "It was so hilarious. I fell off my sofa and cracked my 8th vertabrae, shows that funny should be banned."
Office Mate #3: "Did you see it [insert your name here]?"
You: "No, what happened?"
Hot Secretary: "Oh you have to watch it. Just describing it doesn't do it justice."
You: "D'oh!"

Well I have a couple of shows that I MUST watch. Of course as I write this I missed an episode of Buffy (yes girls, I watch that sensitive, pro-feminist UPN drama, Go Josh Whedon!)

Here are some upcoming and current shows that might tantalize your TV taste buds.

1.) Buffy
It's interesting that nobody will admit they like this show. It's funny, clever and the plot and overall story arc is always a big surprise. FX and action are usually top notch. Listen to the dialogue and you'll be speaking Buffynese in no time.

2.) 24
Kiefer Sutherland is not DEAD!! Nope he's alive and he's playing a counter terrorism agent and overall good guy. If you missed season 1 get it on DVD. Very suspensful, just in terms of their gimmicky "an hour in real time" format. You could have easily picked up the story in the middle of the season. You want a hot babe...yup you got it. Elisa Cuthbert. You want a black president....you got it. You want Kiefer Sutherland shooting at bad guys....BAM it's there.

3.) Enterprise
Not a very good sci fi show. This is your token "Dark Angel Syndrome" show.

[Dark Angel Syndrome: You watch the show b/c of the gratuitous hot girl who is the star. eg. Jessica Alba in "Dark Angel". See "Alias", "Buffy", "Birds of Prey", "Dawson's Creek", etc.]

4.) Smallville
Superman redux. You know the freakin story. Superman uses his power to cheat, steal and pillage. What's weird about this show is how each episode revolves around either him finding out he's got a new power or covering up his secret. Ahhh yes and the akward Lana Lang scenes where Clark acts all goofy and dumb. It's hard to just have this show fly on by. [pun intended] It's pretty much bizarro Buffy in a way. So similar yet oddly different.

5.) CSI
It may be on CBS but it's really freakin good. No bull. Not sure why the show is good but it's just seems they set you up good. opening scene is the crime. then the analysis then the conclusion. simple format but they hook you with their techno, scientific analysis. usually it's a dead hooker, forensic analysis of a leftover condom, some lipstick and blood splatter of a margarita. BAM! the boyfriend's brother's sister did it. Characters are kinda cool too. Grissom and his crew all have gratuitous back stories and Vegas is the ultimate backdrop.

I could mention Alias, The Practice, etc. But alas there are only 5 spots. You gotta earn a spot on this list with some good episodes.

Next Blog: Sitcoms!!!

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Post Yankee Hating Celebrations

These most glorious days of yankee bashing are almost upon an end.
See the top 10 memorable yankee moments....in all their agony.

muhaaaahahahahahaha

The New York Metropolitans, running with scissors and the pending mini vacation

Goliath has been slaughtered by David.

Ahh yes. i'm talking about the new york yankees. oh what a beautiful day it is. the air is all cuddly. the birds are singing. and did i mention the yankees are going home?
the anaheim angels just won the world series. you beat the yankees. that's it. go home. call it a night. you've done your duty. you've rid the playoffs of a team with weapons of mass destruction. go have a couple of beers and make a ham and cheese sandwich. you've done enough.

ok.let's talk about the mets one freakin final time. oh the mets! what hasn't been said. me and my fellow mets fan kev, we know the drill. we've joked about the super patheticness of the mets. so it was only fitting the bobby v had to get the pink slip. courtesy of kev, a link that just says it all. and that's all i have to say about that.

Running With Scissors

running with scissors isn't a good idea. trust me and my punctured lung.

mini vacation

i'm not much of a photagrapher. i do like getting "cool" shots. but i don't know jack about lighting, framing and the rest of the terminology in the photo world. so i'm going to just take some shots when i'm on vacation next week. screw the artsy fartsy crap. let the pics speak for themselves. but i gotta give props to people who do know all this stuff. it is hard and good pics are shot by good photographers. i'm just not one of em. but i've got a digi cam. it's got lots of empty space. and it is going to different places that a digi cam is perfect for.

Next Blog: TV shows i watch (being the dorky fan boy i am) and gratuitous commentary.

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