Go West Young Man! Go West!
Well today I go off to Des Moines. I'll be back to civilization on Wednesday. I'm not dreading going, I guess it's more so a wrench in my daily routine. So in essence, it's a good thing that I'm breaking the monotony. What's going to be funny, funny to me I guess, is that I'll be the only Asian/minority when we go. Mind you, I'm not one of those Black Panther,
NAACP militant Asian guys who protest the lack of representation in a particular industry. I just me. Jeff. All around nice guy with a punk rock edge.
But what I'm concerned about is this. My fellow Des Moinians (?) co-workers might be slightly surprised to see an Asian/Filipino face to somebody they thought was caucasian. Mind you my last name sounds Italian. It's not. It sounds Hispanic. It's not. It sounds...well it sounds Filipino I guess. Most of these people I've spoken to on the phone probably have no idea what I look like. So their initial reaction is always telling.
"Hi, I'm Jeff."
"Hi, I'm XXXXX."
[Face is wide eyed and completely shocked]
I expect that response. Though you can't help notice the people who take it in stride. Like I'm some sort of retro coolness.
"Whoa! An Asian kid! Damn that's exotic! Is he able to communicate in English?"
I never bring attention to the fact that I'm a minority. It usually always the other guy. I've never ever used "I don't speak english" excuse. It's a really brillant excuse to get out of sticky situations. Like when you get pulled over or are in a really dull conversation. But I've never used it. Yet.
I think I'll stop talking about race now. I don't know why I brought it up. Likr I said I don't like bringing attention to the fact that I'm of a different origin. I just like being me. And I hope that's just the way people look at me. As Jeff. Nothing more.
RANDOM TANGENT ALERT!
After downloading for 3 days random
South Park episodes from
Kazaa, why can I only HEAR but not SEE the show?
END RANDOM TANGENT ALERT!
So on to some leftover thoughts!
Do cute girls know they are cute? I mean do they just stand in the mirror and say to themselves "Damn! I'm cute!"
Why is it that I see so many empty seats at the
Garden yet I can't get any decent seats?
If I had one superpower, I'd like to be able to walk really really fast. I want to be known as Captain Speed Walker.
I would like to be a porn star for one day. Just to know what goes on during the breaks. I mean would I get dressed? It would be kind of pointless wouldn't it?
We all know all religions are pseudo corporations. I'd like to go back in time and start my own religion. It would have at least 50 holidays.
I've seen
Coming to America way to many times than I'd like to admit. However, it's still awesome every time I see it.
I have this obsession with getting a DeLorean. If I ever did the first thing I would say right after starting the engine is: "Time circuits on, flux capactior.....fluxing."
I think all reality shows should pick a complete loser as one of the contestants. I mean everybody who watches these shows would totally root for the guy even if he was totally non athletic, really ugly and had a gut the size of Texas. I mean everybody is staring at themselves.
Why can't I meet a nice girl at the library or cafe or book store? These should be legitimate places to meet people.
On the reality note, they had this Asian kid on Tough Enough 3
. He was comepletely useless. He couldn't wrestle, he got injured numerous times, he was knocked unconscious after a suplex, and after having to many drinks he peed in his pants. Yet he kept making the cut. Only in the world of wrestling does the asian kid who wet himself get a push on a TV show.
With that, on an Asian note, can you name an Asian actor on television? I mean prime time television. I can't and it really bothers me.
Has anybody ever tried Internet dating? Aren't you just giving up at this point. It's like your admiting defeat.
Does teeth whitening really work? Just because it says it on the tube of toothpaste we all just assume, don't we? I mean can somebody explain to me what mystical ingrdient makes my teeth white?
Does
Norton AntiVirus create all the viruses that we get? I mean it's in their best interest to keep having people buy their software. It's spooky isn't it?
Can I get a can of Nos (like in
Fast and the Furious) for my bike?
Have emoticons gotten their 15 minutes of fame yet?
If you had to choose, would you be a $100 million dollar
NBA no talent mini star like
Allan Houston or be a NBA rookie, with loads of talent and upside (I like using the word upside) who will have stellar career but for now is getting paid like sanitation worker???
And finally....I've finally put my priorities together. I'll take a burger WITH fries.
And I'll leave you with this by one of the greatest comedians ever:
George Carlin
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... you finish off as an orgasm.
End Transmission
