8th generation dub

First a few tidbits.
Besides Valentine's Day, the other most meaningless holiday on the calendar is New Years. I mean the concept of a year in the theory of time is without logic. So for me it's just Tuesday then Wednesday.

So I went a little picture crazy in my last blog. Just reading words I figured were slightly boring. Pray for visuals and you shall receive.

Anyway the concept of the tip was being discussed. I always tip 15%. To me it's always been 15%. I've been told it is now 20%. I never got the memo so I'm not going to add an additional 5%. When somebody sends me the fuckin memo...maybe I'll up the ante.

I am realizing I am not that smart. I'm just not anymore. I was watching Jeopardy and I was guessing out my ass.

Finally...to my soon to be lawyer friend and friend I pose a quesiton:

I'm still sketchy on this whole bootleg thing. Reason why I bring this up is because recently I was informed that I can't buy or sell or trade any of my underground horror flicks anymore. Here's the deal.

I recently got an e-mail stating I was in violation of copyright laws of North America by an unnamed source. This source threatended legal action and I freakin quote:

Were rather upset and were debating on turning you over to the MPAA for copyright violations. IF our films are not taken off in the next 48 hours we will retaliate harshly. Looking at your list I see most of the films your illegally duplicating are owned by North American companies. We will also contact these companies letting them know what is going on so It would become a mess for you.

If said source is reading this, I have a few things to say for the record. Jaded Viewer Productions is a 2 man operation run out of a basement. Like most underground traders, we are poor. Like eating Ramen noodles poor. The list the said source is talking about can be found here. The list was only and I repeat only a means to initiate trades. Hence, is trading movies illegal? I don't think so. That of course is me being totally biased.

I am fully aware that the unauthorized duplication of movies is illegal without the consent of Major League Baseball and the New York Mets....wait I mean without the consent of the studio...yada yada yada. So am I suppose to be a good American and wait until somebody gets the rights to the foriegn flicks I wanna see so that I can buy them on as a legal copy that will be on DVD or VHS. And why in God's name are you charging $23?!? I mean seriously. It's not like it's Pulp Fiction or something. These are barely flicks that need to be watched once then get passed along to others so they can derive enjoyment out of them. I mean solidifying a market on horror films via copyright is a itsy bitsy piece of the freakin puzzle. It's like claiming 3/4 of a penny. Why would you want to do this?

For goodness sake Kim's Video sells bootlegs!!! It's such a retarded fart of a joke.

Ebay is loaded with these bootlegging motherfuckers. And they got good stuff so I don't complain. I'm not sure how much money they are costing these "companies" but shouldn't they all be prosecuted and castrated to the full extent of the law? Shouldn't they?

Here is my opinion. Bootlegging like any vice crime doesn't hurt anyone. Physically or mentally. When it's financially I don't give a shit. Yeah so a few people don't get some monetary reparations...big fuckin deal.

Most underground horror flicks are seen by people who've initiated trades, bid on Ebay, bought from a dealer at a convention or bought online. The underground is so fuckin small. And we are mostly poor bastards. When you make a trade...you're in a sense building a small village of horror fans that you can communicate with.
The reason we exist is because we don't or don't try to conform to the economics of mainstream movies purchasing conglomerate. The movies are sorta shared...only a few will have seen particular flicks. You feel lucky if somehow you've seen a really rare flick. You've secretly entered into a cult. You've made it. Give youself a pat on the back Tonto.

Bootlegging underground horror is like file sharing on Kazaa or Morpheus. Like downloading mp3s from the now defunct Napster. Like buying flicks from the street peddler on the corner. Like buying tickets from the scalper in front of the arena. Like munching on free food from a party you were not invited to. Like propositioning a prostitute. Like stealing cable. Like hacking into a Direct TV H card. Like downloading a hacked version of Photoshop. Like copying HTML code. Like moving to the good seats at a baseball game. Like leaving for work really early. Like getting to work really late. Like taking a 2 hour lunch. Like expensing a trip to Vegas on the corporate credit card. Like cheating on your taxes. Like sneaking into a movie. Like getting free refills. Like smoking pot. Like sleeping until noon. Like stealing a Playboy. And like tipping off at the gas station.

WE ALL FUCKIN DO IT.

Bill Gates monopolized IE browsers. Of course he did. Because big fuckin money was involved. By monopolozing horror movies...less people will be able to see the flicks you oh so desperately want people to see.

Watching a horror/exploitation/cult film on an underground, imported, no cover art, mislabeled VHS tape in your slowly decaying VCR is an unbelievable feeling. The picture is kinda grainy after the 8th generation dub. The sound is kinda off. Volume goes from high to low. You try to fix the tracking. That doesn't do shit. And you watch.
Then towards the end something mysterious happens. The dude you bought or traded this flick from just taped over midget porn and you see the tale end of it. Or he's used a tape where all his old cartoons were on.

It's oh so magically delicious. This is where bootlegging becomes special. Where you feel like your part of the mainstream. The mainstream of the underground.
Be proud. Welcome to our little club.

Klaatu Barrada Nikto.

End Transmission