Curb your leftover thoughts

You should be watching Curb your Enthusiasm.

I've never made a bad egg ommlette.

It's dangerous to pick a fight with a disgruntled postal worker.

I would like to visit the International Space Station.

I've tasted Smart Dogs. I'm wasn't smart enough to NOT buy them.

Admit it. You've watched The Learning Channel.

Worse case scenario: Being trapped in a burning building or being trapped in a building that's burning because of the wrath of Hell. I think it's the latter.

I think the sexiest outfit on a girl is their shoes. That and a cool hat.

Everybody remembers their first film. I don't.

People like to walk really fast in New York City. They really need to slow down.

I donated my internal clock to charity.

I've filled out my organ donor information on the back of my driver's license. I've donated by spleen, kidney and heart. Maybe not my heart, I might need that.

Do street bootleggers have union cards?

Why is it the yuppie woman walking her dog has no problem picking her dog's shit but is scared of germs on the subway?

Did you ever know that you're my anti-hero?

I've figured my computer was out of date the moment I bought it.

Yao Ming translates to big ass China man.

I'm addicted to coffee. But I hate caffeine.

15% is an adequate tip. People claim it's 20%. Send me the fuckin memo Sherlock.

Who invented the DVD? Can I meet this guy?

I like going into video stores and asking for movies that don't exist.
"Do you have "An indie flick"?
"I'm looking for Jungle Babes in Heat Part 3."
"Can you show me where "Video Store Guy: The Movie" is?

I just watched an episode of CKY where a dude took a shit while he was running at top speed. Thank goodness for dumb bored suburban white kids.

While I was sleeping I saw the back of my eyelids.

I have some funky hair. Emphasis on the funky.

I don't know what it is.

When I was a kid I played serious professional Nerf Basketball. I was an All Star 5 times.

Great team names for my fictional basketball league. New York Smoke. Boston Bombs. Philadelphia Fires. San Francisco Edge. St. Louis Buzz. Chicago Ants. Miami Rainbows.

I'm going to write a screenplay of my typical work day and write really clever dialogue. I will insist my co-workers read their lines exactly how I wrote them. If they refuse, they will be summarily removed from the cast.

I'm waiting to meet a female version of myself. I think we would really get along.

My friend's college roomate in college had a girlfriend who had overtly gigantic breasts. I nicknamed her "Bouncy Girl".

What is it with karaoke that makes people think they can sing?

Can I end this transmission?

You are my destin....ation

New York, New York. The city so nice, they'll kick your ass for free. Everybody has been blogging about if they should stay or if they should go.

I'd like to put my 1 cent in. I'm cheap like that.

After working @ the same ole company for almost 2 years (has it really been that long?) now, you kinda invent vacation destinations that you would dream of going.
My perverted dream has me going to Paris and meeting a French model who takes me to the French coast and makes me her love slave. Oh sorry. That's a porn subplot. Porn subplot!?! Get it?

Geez. But seriously folks I've been thinking of some destinations that have tickled my fancy.
Let's go through the list (i love lists!) of places I've been pondering to vacation in.

1.) Tokyo, Japan
Well, this is dreamland. If I had to pick the most foriegn country I could think of, Japan would be it. But Tokyo seems to be a focal point for thousands of Japanimation mega cities. New York is a mega city but Toky stretches for miles. They have undergrounds in their undergrounds. Tokyo is a destination that implies the unknown. When I leave I will be half robot half man. It seems so surreal. The lights, the crowds, humans on top of humans on top of more humans. Traffic for miles on end. And samurais.
And hentai. And sumo wrestling. Egads! It's a modern day metropolis.

2.) London, England
It's bloddy England! This is just America but with an accent. Pros:No language barrier. Cons:You can't eat anything. I'm not in to the royalty or historical significance but I dig the major cityness of Europe. Plus I get to listen some classic punk rock. It's jam packed with old history and distinguished angst. It's like a bourgeous New York I suppose.

3.) The South
I've been thinking of visiting all my cousins in the South. They are spread out sporadically from Virginia to North Carolina to South Carolina to D.C. This is road trip country. Down to Atlanta to New Orleans. It's the little things I'm interested in. It's America but an alternate universe America. With a twist. They talk differently. They have Sonics and Jack in the Boxes. It's like being a fish not out of water but a more liked a fish in a cup of chicken noodle soup.

4.) Anchorage (and other remote areas), Alaska
Maybe it was Northern Exposure or those episodes of Malcolm in the Middle but Alaska has gotten really intriguing. Daylight most of the day. And those glorious mountains. And it's all America.

5.) International Space Starion, Earth Orbit
Space the final frontier. I gotta feel weightlessness y'know?

6.) New Zealand
After watching Lord of the Rings, don't you want to visit?

7.) Sydney and Melbourne, Australia
It's like London but really really far away.

8.) Hawaii
I too have dreams of laying around on the beach watching scantily clad women in thongs and bikinis.

9.) Dallas, Texas
Everybody wants to be a cowboy and have that Brady Bunch adventure don't they?

10.) Paris, France
See perverted subplot above.

11.) Berlin, Germany
I know what you're thinking. Germany? It's weird. Me too.

12.) Amsterdam, Holland
Umm you know why.

13.) Stockholm, Sweden
Have you seen the Swedes? Wowsers!

14.) South Africa
Well I had to get something African on the list. I'd also like to go all Safari like.

15.) Bangkok, Thailand
See Amsterdam.

16.) Hong Kong, China
Why is this so low on the list? Screw it this should be top 5.

17.) Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Their beaches are like so unbelievably awesome.

18.) 1955 Hill Valley, California
See this movie.

19.) Toronto, Canada
This is gonna happen. I love Canadians!

20.) My bed
Good Night!

End Transmission

Being Jeffrey

So I finally watched Being John Malkovich and as they say "a kick ass movie". Very funny. Very offbeat. Very witty. Verry intelligent.

So I finally watched Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and as they say it was a "a kick ass movie". Great visuals. Great cinematagraphy. Great acting. Great humor. Great action. Great scenes of large armies attacking each other. It was in a word: Great.

So if somebody could enter the portal in my head they would have just saw me watched an unbelievable win by the San Francisco 49ers against my beloved New York Giants. One can only wonder how they achieved a stunning defeat of such a magnitude in an NFL Wildcard game when they accumulated a 38-14 lead. I am feeling pain. Utter stomach twisting pain. This sucks. It does.

I blogged about some summer flicks coming out this year. Check out these trailers.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions

Kill Bill

End Transmission